YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING FAT BOY! YOU ARE LIKE WHAT 10 FUCKING YEARS OLD AND RUDE LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER I WORK HERE SO I CANNOT PUNCH YOU BUT IF YOU EVER TALK TO ME OUTSIDE I WILL FIND A CACTUS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING TINY LITTLE 10-YEAR-OLD ANUS BECAUSE IT'S PRICKLY AND YOU'RE A SPASTIC CHILD. WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE DON'T YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU ANYTHING ?! OKAY NVM I SAW YOUR DAD HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU - LIKE A UPSIZED VERSION OF YOUR PANTYWAIST SELF. MY GOD. HE WEARS HIS PANTS BELOW HIS BOOBS JUST LIKE YOU DO! HE LOOKS LIKE A FAT BALL WITH LEGS - JUST LIKE YOU DO! I MUST SAY THE RESEMBLANCE IS FUCKING UNCANNY.
Please do me a favour. I will be eternally grateful.
Just any of the following will do.1)
Contract HIV and die.2)
Jump off a building and die.3)
Eat just one more bowl of rice and watch yourself explode you fat fuck.4)
Pour expensive top-grade honey all over your fat self ( that should take like only 27 jars) and jump into the bear enclosure at the zoo resulting in your head getting torn off by said bears. Oh wait if the bears eat you they might develop high cholesterol. Too much fatty meat.5)
Dance naked down Orchard Road. Subsequently get shot by the SWAT team for posing a threat to the country - all the people who saw you dance naked now have no eyeballs and have gone insane.6)
Get run over by a truck. Seven times. Make sure truck is at least a 9 tonner or a tank lest you damage it instead.7)
Prick yourself, explode and die.8)
Walk into gay bar. Pick up the soap.9)
Find out you were adopted. Go on nationwide search for parents. Discover that your mother was a hippo and that your dad liked animals a little too much. Die from shame.10)
Join the online Pain Olympics, chop off your genitals. Get disqualified because "your penis was the size of a thumb - it couldn't have hurt". Cry over bruised ego (and crotch). Watch penis regrow. Realize that your "penis" was actually a lizard stuck headfirst in your vagina. Kill self.11)
Turn bulimic. Eat too much. Explode before you even start vomiting.12)
Turn anorexic - It should take about 40 years for your body to completely eat itself.13)
Get raped. By your dad.14)
Decapitate self with a butter knife.15)
Look in mirror, die from shock.16)
Swallow 10 sticks of Mentos mints. Chase down with 5 litres of coke. Explode.17)
See clone of self. Stab clone to death. Realize it's your dad. Kill self.18) JUST DIE. I AM NOT FUSSY ABOUT YOUR METHOD OF DEATH.
I hate rude kids. They think just because they're young and tiny ( not in this case though. This particular kid was the size of a baby whale), no one will hit or scold them. THINK AGAIN MOFOS! You will grow up to be fuckbags with inverted penises, syphillis and other disgusting unmentionables.
HAVE A NICE LIFE, SHAMU.