Just some things to note :
1. I am not selfish just because I do not want you to see my vagina. ( and no, this is not directed at my boyfriend)
2. My food, yours to eat. NOT. I hope you get crabs, crab.
3. It's YELLOW. NOT YAH-LOW.
4. I bought you something for our anniversary, I hope I pwn your ass at it. If I don't, I'm taking it back and selling them away.
5. Cellophane, when rolled up, is a pain in the ass to unroll.
6. Every time I think of you, my brain throws up a little bit.
7. Valentine's day is overrated, but just so you know,
the ( ridiculously overpriced) flowers you ordered made me smile.